Well hi everyone, I'm Alex, Hunter's brother. You all know that Hunter was badly hurt and is in the hospital. Well this is how it happened...
Hunter, I, and some of our friends were at the Whipple chapel playing some basketball Thursday night. We were done around 4:30 and we were hanging out by the cars just goofing around, one by one we started to leave. Hunter, Sam, and I were the last to leave. I got into the passenger seat and Sam in the drivers, Hunter was already sitting on the trunk of Sam's car when we got in. Sam waited a minute for Hunter to get off and get inside the car, seeing that he was staying there we knew that he wanted to ride there to our house. I almost opened my door to tell him to get in but I didn't since I didn't want to fight with him and it was just down the street to our house. Sam’s backed out of the parking spot and moved forward. I watch him as he bounced on the car over the speed bumps. I also watch him as we turned left on to the small road that links the church parking lot, 1st North and 2nd North together. After that point I looked down at my cell phone at a text message. We took a right turn onto my home street (2nd North). We got as far as 20 feet from the turn when I felt Hunter moved off the car. Sam kept moving for another 20 feet till he slammed on his brakes. I looked at Sam as he jumped out the door and ran towards Hunter; I climbed out of the car to see Hunter on the road lying on his side facing away from us. Sam ran up to Hunter and yelled "He's Bleeding". I was still confused at what was going on as I watched Sam running to my house to get my parents. I ran to Hunter and asked if he was OK, he was unresponsive. He was breathing pretty hard so I knew he was still alive. I saw that he had a gash on the right side of he's head right behind he's ear, blood was coming out at an alarming rate. I tried to get him to lay on he's back so he stop sucking in his own blood but he is a big kid and I didn't want the blood to come out faster. The only thing I remember from scouts is to keep him calm so I talked to him till my parents came back with Sam. At this point there are two things I regret, being an eagle scout I should have known to 1. Call 911 since I was first one able to; and 2. I should have somehow tried to slow the bleeding. I know that it is not a big deal since the medics got there so fast but I'm ashamed of not thinking to control the bleeding. When my parents got there I kind of backed up to let them in. My mother told me to get her shoes so I ran home and got them and came right back. Very few minutes later the medics came and took over. After this I just stood around being helpless. Hunter now looked responsive and pretty bloody up. He was trying to sit up and it took around 4 people to keep him down. They took him to the hospital in Mesquite and my parents went home to change and leave to the hospital. Sam and I stayed behind to fill out police reports. When we got done with them about 30 minutes later we went to the hospital to join my family. After this it was all about waiting game…
I don't know much of the conditions of Hunter, but the timeline we are looking at is that he will be in heavy sleep for around a week. Anywhere from a few weeks to a few months he will be able to come home. I was told he will have short term memory problems for about a year.
There is irony in a situation like this. I am very lonely, my family has been in Vegas since Friday, but many people have come to see me, and frankly I’m sick of it. I am sick of people asking if I’m okay, I’m just fine. I wasn’t the one hurt. But it hurts every time someone asks me if I’m okay. I want you to know that I am grateful for you caring and it has helped me to know that but at this moment I rather talk about something else.
As of how I’ve been dealing with all this is that I have been blocking it all out. I must be doing a good job of it because sometimes I forget what even happened, I forget that the rest of my family is staying in Vegas with him and not up there for the day, I forget that Hunter was lying on the road and I was crying, watching, being totally helpless. I moved the memory of that night so deep in my head that it cuts my heart when I remember it. I’ve never cried this much in my life. When I saw him today, in his hospital bed, my bones and joints were stabbed with pain. It is like someone cutting thin slices off your bones. The pain was very clear and sharp. I wanted to leave but my muscles were weak, I had no strength. All I could do was look at him and asked why him and not me. I feel like a terrible brother for not staying in Vegas, but I’m sure he understands my choice to stay away from him right now. I don’t want the memory of him in the hospital bed. He was a very active and happy young man and that is the memory I will keep of him till he is better.
I want everyone to know that I am grateful for everything. People have brought me dinner, bishop has given me a ride to see Hunter, and Caleb and Sam have been keeping great company. Thanks to my other friends and family for checking up on me. Thanks for all the prayers and fasting for Hunter
Thanks for sharing this with us. We are very touch by your writings. We love you and your family.
ReplyDeleteAlex,
ReplyDeleteAunt Angela Here! You are such a great brother to Hunter! We know you don't like people worrying about you when everybody should be thinking about Hunter instead of you. But, we are thinking of you too! We know you are okay, you are a strong and awesome person! I know everybody will all pull through this. And it is amazing the family closeness that has already happened because of this terrible situation! We love you! The girls and I are gonna have to come bother you! =)
Alex.
ReplyDeleteyou are a great brother, don't doubt it. i think you did great. i wouldn't have known what to do if i was in your shoes. You did great telling what happened too. as i'm sitting her crying, i want you to know, that nobody blames you. It was him not you because heavenly father needs to see how your handleing all of this. i personally think your doing a fantastic job. :) keep it up, and good luck!
Brad, I and the kids have had ALL of you in our prayers. I would like to say this to Alex...going through great trauma, but being the one ok and not hurt is just as difficult as laying in the hospital fighting for your life...I know from experience. I also know that allowing satan to fill you with frustration, anger or hard feelings will only destroy all those positive experiences you've shared AND WILL SHARE AGAIN with your brother. Allow Heavenly Father to give you the strength you need to find courage and peace over this terrible occurance. We love all of you! Get well Hunter, so Brock can play bikes and trucks with you soon!
ReplyDeleteThe Tobler's
Alex you are an awesome brother I have no doubt Hunter looks up to you because I do
ReplyDeleteHi Alex.
ReplyDeleteI just received the link to the blog, so I am a little behind in my response.
I know nothing anyone says will magically make you feel better. I just want you to know a couple things about head injuries. I am a trauma nurse and have cared for many hundreds of patients with serious head injuries.
About the bleeding - our heads have a lot of blood vessels in them. When the skin is broken, it can bleed a lot. The deeper the wound, the worse it bleeds. BUT people do NOT generally bleed to death from head wounds. Even bad ones. There is just not enough blood in our heads to cause a death from loss of blood.
You did not think to apply pressure to help control the bleeding, but I promise you, that has made no difference in the outcome of Hunter's injuries. It is the actual trauma to his brain that is causing all the trouble and there is just no first-aid remedy for that.
As for not thinking to call 911 - well, let me tell you, it is a perfectly normal response to NOT think perfectly clear in a crisis like this - especially when it is your own brother!! It's OK. The good news is someone else did call 911 and help arrived quickly. The way you tell the story, it sounds like Hunter got excellent and timely care and nothing could have been done any better.
As for thinking to talk to him and try to calm him, I will say this: Some may say the unconscious cannot hear us, but I sincerely believe they do. I base my opnion on years of watching physiological responses in my unconscious patients when they hear their families and friends talk to them. I see blood pressures stabilize or heart rates go up or down, etc. in direct response to people talking to these unconscious patients. I always talk to my unconscious patients and offer words of comfort and caring compassion. And I always tell families to talk to their unconscious loved ones as well. While "Medicine" hasn't proven this beyond a shadow of a doubt, it has been my experience that it appears unconscious people can hear and do respond, we just can't always see it without monitors and other medical equipment.
Another thought on that topic - Heavenly Father blocked out all the other thoughts from your head. All you could think of was what you learned in Scouts about helping to keep an injured person calm. I think you talking to your brother was exactly what he needed at that moment to help him through. (Although because of the brain injury and the medications, he will likely not remember later.) I suspect Heavenly Father kept putting only that thought in your head for a reason. I think you did exactly what Heavenly Father needed you to do for Hunter in that moment.
I hope this information can be of some use to you as you work through all this.
Lastly, I want to leave you with my favorite scripture. "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled. Neither let it be afraid."
Peace, Alex. The Savior is offering you His Peace. You just have to reach out to accept His gift.